Acceptance\\ Adversary\\ Building Of Lies\\ Cash And Pain Remain\\ Catalyst\\ Deathrow\\ Equation\\ Fallaka\\ Fight The Tears\\ Form Of Fear\\ Human Race\\ Look Ahead\\ Overgrown Corpse\\ Power\\ Repeat And Regret\\ Seeds Of Our Destiny\\ Sin Aviso\\ Strijd\\ Stuck In A Rut\\ System Fall\\ You're A Part\\


Refugee = Big Business\\ Deathrow\\ A Free Mind Or An Easy Escape?\\ Resistance Is Futile\\ Sin Aviso\\ Stuck In A Rut\\ Above And Under\\ No Struggle No Progress\\


ACCEPTANCE (written by Emil & Erik)

(Appeared on the 2nd demo; never recorded in the studio)

For the sake of our power
And the sake of control...
For the sake of our money...
And the sake of our goals...
For the sake of our industries...
And the sake of our cars...
For the sake of our profits...
And the sake of our wars...

We accept that by religion,
Women have no right to choose
And that children on the streets,
Have only a life to lose
One life that they refuse to lose!
We accept a starving mass,
Undernourished orphans
Pressuring of the coin,
When it's us that should be owing
We owe them all. Instead we take!


ADVERSARY (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)

I hate your existence
And I can hate you being here
And I can hate you everytime I see you
I’ll have to hold back when you’re near
When you’re near

I do hate it when you speak
I do hate it when you’re silent
I sure hate it when you’re screamin’ loud
But I won’t cover my ears and that’s the trend

Your heart speaks hardline hate
A pattern offends. Evolves. Is shaped
You’ve made a choice
My hate is not the same
It’s directed at you, living inhumane
My counterchoice

I can sense your emotions
I can sense your despair
I can sense your ways of disrespect
But the strength of it is what I fear

Your heart speaks hardline hate
A pattern offends. Evolves. Is shaped.
You have an ugly goal
My hate is not the same
It’s directed at you living inhumane
I won’t just let you take control

I’ve had my fears
Intimidation has had its ways
So... what’s left for me to do
No more truce
We know who we’re dealing with
You are the adversary

And even though, in fury,
I know my cause is right
If I don’t control my mind,
you might lose your daylight

BUILDING OF LIES (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd)

In Holland there's a building, a house of lies
Humiliation, interrogation, you won't be treated nice
You'll be restrained, all day long, with depraved intent
Covered up in legal ways, to keep racism alive

And so they work
And so they lie

Refugees and fugitives, without a home
It's their contention and desperation that's always overlooked
Demonstration means isolation, protests won't be heard
Your only right is to shut up, be a deportee
Medical assistance, means they have some pills
Which for an hour relieve you from your pain

And so they work
And so they lie

Refugees and fugitives, without a home
It's their contention and desperation that's always overlooked

And so they work
And so they lie
And so they die

REFUGEE = BIG BUSINESS (or: Ultimate Exploitation)

The song Building Of Lies (from the "Cash And Pain Remain"mcd) is about the treatment of refugees during their wait for expulsion in Holland. Many still don’t realize about the degrading conditions these people have to endure. The following is a brief look into the kitchen of Dutch asylum-economics.

During the last decennium a billion-dollar-industry developed around judgement, interception, support, supervision and expulsion of asylum-seekers. A full market in which tens of thousands of Dutch people have found a job. More than 50 organisations and institutions were prepared for the 23.000 refugees in 1996. Those organisations are not satisfied with the execution of the Dutch administration. With regret they see how refugees are systematically mangled. The policy is based on a governmental "machinery" that has the political instruction to keep things as closed as possible. To control and repel.

Fatma Uzgumus (fleed from Turkey to Holland in 1984 and currently works as manager for Vluchtelingen Organisatie Nederland - Refugee-Organisation Holland) said: "The only thing you can take is your self-respect. Here this is taken away. Holland doesn’t want those people anymore, you’re no longer welcome. That is the only criterion". "Refugees are treated like pathetic people, associated with pictures of starving children with flies on their lip. Helpless. Or suspicious: you want to profit from our fortune and wealth. It is terribly confusing". Kees Bleichrodt (manager of the oldest refugee-organisation: Stichting voor Vluchteling-Studenten UAF) said: "Every year, tens of thousands of people are coming at us. We lock them up, for years, in expensive centres and it takes a long time to decide what has to happen with these people. These centres look like palaces. But inside, you get stark raving mad. People get a crash course in dependence. Everything from the idea of: these people can do nothing, are nothing, mean nothing." The policy should start from a human-rights concept. Make sure that the story of the refugees show to full advantage and not being pushed aside. However, judicature starts with assuming that the other always lies. Even if you have been through the most bizarre, they don’t want to know. A comparison with the criminal law is quickly made. The presumptio innocentiae which does come up in criminal law (someone is innocent until the contrary is proven), has to be used for sure on refugees. They are not criminals. If this does not happen because of aliens by definition, you can label this racist. Blank chauvinism. The distance between assistence, refugees and policy-makers is growing bigger and bigger. They operate from different point of views resulting in distrust, complaints and lack of understanding. Besides, the official reports are unreliable. In these, Department of Foreign Affairs give information about the general stability and safety of about fifty countries. On the one hand, they’re used as means to establish if someone’s a refugee, on the other hand to judge if it is safe for rejected refugees to return to their country of origin. These official reports are sometimes at right angles to the reports of Amnesty International and the United Nations. Diplomats from Foreign Affairs are far from expert and hardly maintain contacts with the opposition in a country through which a distorted image develops. Eventually, a special judge for alien affairs will have to give judgement for a specific country. Thousands of people are fallen into interminable procedures because of the avalanche of negative disposals. Result is an enormous amount of illegals and a big turn out towards psychiatry. People have been into reception centres for a couple years and sometimes get out more damaged than when they entered. Consequently they’re not directly ripe for the labourmarket, education, etc. We withhold them integration-rights through which debilitation finds place. All of this results in growing protests. In 1996, already tens of self-combustions, hunger-strikes and over hundred suicide-attempts took place. The problems with assistence are getting harder but it can not be solved. Eventually everybody is going to be involved: from the bureaus for legal aid, municipal-officials and welfare-institutions to the umpteenth organisation-, advisory-, and trainingsbureaus.... Michael.

CASH AND PAIN REMAIN (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd)

So you left me standing
I'm all alone
I'm left behind in a room and I
I face the wall
Wall is like a mirror,
It reflects my life,
Stone cold and brutally cracked, well
Empty rivers flow,
Body, soul, injured
Cash and Pain remain
This pleasure is sacrifice, but
keeps my parents alive

Face the other side
The abuse
The misuse

Break the chains I live with
Take the links away
Childhood, a new definition
Work instead of play
Incarcerated in darkness
I have become a faceless
I have to work for the senseless
Weaving rugs, so monotonously
Body, soul, injured
Cash and Pain remain
This pleasure is sacrifice, but
keeps my parents alive

Face the other side
The abuse
The misuse

Western power is based on money,
is based on greed
and the need

CATALYST (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd and "No Fate 2: World Hardcore"Comp.CD)

You decide to criticize
A body's shape and outer sides
Fail to see the inner pride
Of people just like you and I
Your eyes...a silent rape
Search for things I can't relate to
Standardize a model role
Disrespect and sex the goal

It's in your head!!
It's inside you!!
It takes control!!
Of what you feel!!

Money spent on wasted nights
Please the eye with outer sides
Comparing bodies in the mind
Comments like "your ass is mine"
Discriminate. Is it a joke?
Empty thoughts. Worthless.
Give respect and you'll get it back
Resist verbal gender attack

You're a catalyst. You're keeping it up
Discrimination of the sexes
You're a catalyst. Feeding the norm
With all these little words
You're a catalyst. Induce a reaction
Pass it on to your friends
You're a catalyst. Look at yourself,
whatever made you so susceptible...
For catalysm...

DEATHROW (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)

The number of steps is too well known
From cell-block to destination
All of us count, as soon as we’re out
Out of our homes, three by two

Twenty, and the toilet’s behind you
A filthy hole in the ground
Fifty, and the courtyard has passed
Today there’s no fresh air

And reaching eighty steps
There’s only one place you’ll be taken to
This single room, a world of it’s own
Where fear precedes the darkness

Extinction... of my life
The one who I am
Guilty of speaking out
My thoughts back then were so clear
Conviction. No verdict
Not even a trial
Restless... hungry, souldead
Crying on a granite bed

The date is set. Time will come.
The jury decided it must be done
Would they themselves take that step
To take another’s life with no self-regret?

Not enough dough for a good defense
No way to win. No choice. No sense
For me there’s one choice, in gas or in vein
But the snake-bite I get is still the same

Justice plays hide and seek
Three days = too short
Condemned to die... I ask them: "why?"
Is my life so cheap or is there a waiting line?
Business!! Cheap labour thirty cents an hour
Prison system so hard to crack
When men in suits stand back to back

And I.... Will not.... I won’t
I won’t go out like this
And I.... Will not.... I won’t
Won’t go without a fight

I will not judge the ones who judge me
Refuse to kneel down to their standard - too deep!!
In spite of the pain enclosing me
I know my stance and values - I still believe
I did no one wrong!
I did no one wrong!

Inspiration for this one came from a BBC documentary on the death penalty in the U.S. and from a poem I got from Erik. I tried to show the similarities and differences between a person put in jail on the basis of political ideas in a country where dictatorship exists (and people just "disappear") and a person who is sentenced to deathrow through the U.S Justice system. The last part of the song is about the struggle both people have and the belief in their own innocence, and yes, innocent people do get sentenced to death in the U.S.. If you believe otherwise: start digging deeper for information. Some people even accept this fact, as a young woman interviewed after the OJ Simpson verdict did. "I would rather see ten innocent people go to prison for something they didn’t do than see one guilty person go free," she said. And what if guilt has been "proven"? Does it make us any different when we kill in an organized manner? "Deadman" Dean, who had a column on the internet, wrote,"After all, if a jury feels strongly enough to sentence a person to death, they should have the same resolve in carrying out the sentence instead of having someone else do it for them." Would the jury do this if confronted with that obligation? I wonder...

The length of some trials is astonishingly short, to say the least. In some cases, a jury was picked, a trial was held, and a verdict was reached in only two days! The attorneys involved did little effort for their client, did not know who they were, and therefore could not present much to the jury. Potential witnesses were not questioned either. It's possible to drag out a drunk driving case for longer than two days! Fact is: if you have money, you can afford decent attorneys who can prolong the length of the trial and increase the chances for their client. The fact that the death penalty is preserved in a justice system, even though it is clear that a preselect group (poor people, and people of colour) in a population has more chance of being victimized, is a problem which calls for intense debate and abolishment of the death sentence.


EQUATION (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)

Blurred visions, foggy shapes. Boundaries lost
Blurred visions, foggy shapes. Boundaries lost
Intoxication, exhiliration
A world of dreamscapes in which a search begins

A search, a search for life... LIFE
A search, a search for purpose... PURPOSE
A search for identity... IDENTITY
A search for escape

A station is found where one of these is sold
So it’s one for the fun and one for the road
Take in the load, a necessity
Is it life? Is it purpose? Or identity?

The trip continues. What a ride!
Finally free and nothing to hide

You finally reach the stage
The band’s finished, and... guess what?
Your bottle is empty
Go figure it doesn’t add up
I hate your part of the equation


Life. What is it? How do you even begin to form a definition for this phenomenon without snatching that big ol’dictionary off the shelf? (As if that bundle of paper, ink, and words will give you a complete answer!)

Everyday, we fill in that definition (partially) to our own satisfaction. Different days and different people will result in different definitions. You have the power to adjust and restructure it as you follow your own yellow brick road. Crossroads let you examine your openmindedness (and your commitment and belief in your choices), highways are the easy way to go (but can be intensely boring and unfulfilling), and dead ends will confront you and can cause problems. It’s not too difficult to think of another few metaphorical examples.

Most people have standards which they want to achieve for themselves in their lives, be it basic or complex ones. In trying to achieve them, a purpose and perseverance for those standards evolves, which, in itself, is a healthy thing. It’s just too bad that so many of people’s standards look so much alike. The choice of a xerox generation? Besides the fact that so many people’s roads take them through school, studies, job, marriage, kids, and a nice house ‘n car (and not much more), nowadays, having a "free mind" and "being different" are values widely appreciated among people. But it’s very awkward to see a "free mind" often being practically synonymous to intoxication and loss of control. Whether it occurs on the Saturday-night-on-the-town rituals, rave parties (very popular in Holland at the moment), "alternative" mega-festivals, or punk/hardcore concerts, the socially accepted norm is so widespread and firmly rooted that people often don’t understand why you choose not to take part.

At this point in my life, I refuse the ecstatic feelings brought about by alcohol and drugs, simply by refusing to consume these chemicals. As a consequence, my resistance has given me strength, a clear mind, better health, and more independence than before. When I have fun, I’ll know it’s sincere and comes from my innerself. When I feel like shit, but somehow manage to cheer things up, I’ll know it was me. Furthermore, I take all responsibility for my actions and mistakes. How often don’t we hear people apologizing, "I’m sorry, I was drunk..." after hurting or using someone the night before? It seems as if positive human interaction and a healthy self-esteem are just not enough anymore to give us the comfort, pleasure, and selfworth that we (apparently) need so badly.

Instead, so many people rely on and can’t withstand the stimulus (however small) drugs will give them. Social acceptance, tradition, role-models, and easy availability don’t make it easier to change your attitude and/or consumption behaviour. It can almost only come from inside yourself. How free is your mind? How free can it be?

One last thing... when you’re at one of our shows and you’re too drunk to hold balance, don’t go for my legs; go for Erik’s... they’re nicer.


FALLAKA (written by Michael)

(Appeared on the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)

Niets aan de hand
Hoe kom je erbij
Voor jou en mij

We leven in vrijheid, voorspoedig en rijk
Geen angsten te vrezen, iedereen vrij

Maar duizenden mensen verdwenen, vermoord
Veroordeeld op gedachten, hun daden, hun woord
De macht van dit land is de kracht die het krijgt
Van de wereldgemeenschap die ‘t steunt in haar strijd

De oorlogsmachine graaft, ploegt en maait
Een ware genocide, tegenwoordige tijd
Een dictocratie, rendabel voor ons
Het is strategie, dus houdt men z’n mond...

Bloed aan de handen van ‘t westen dat weet
Fascisten ondersteunt en niets onderneemt
De leiders, de beulen van deze dictatuur
Verdienen niet beter dan tegen de muur.

FALLAKA (English Translation)

There is no problem
where did you get that idea?
For you and me

We live in freedom, prosperous and rich
no fear to fear, everyone’s free

But thousands disappeared and killed
sentenced for their thoughts, their deeds, their words
The power of this country is the force it gets
from the world community that supports its struggle

The warmachine digs, plows and mows
A true genocide in the present tense
A dictocracy, profitable for us
it is strategy, so people keep their mouth shut

Blood on the hands of the West that knows
upports fascists and does nothing
The leaders, the executioners of this dictatorship
deserve no better: against the wall.

FIGHT THE TEARS (written by Emil)

(Was never released)

Thought you were the girl
Who'd fit inside my head
I wanted you around
But now you left me, down

I can't see why you left me
I can't see what's wrong with me
What's wrong with me

The tears are running over
My cheeks are getting soaked
The way I feel you'll never know
Your love has disappeared, it's left me oh so cold

It could have been so beautiful
You ruined the dream it's not your fault
The love I had was all for you
It could have been so beautiful

Fight the tears, for years
Thing of what now is gone...

FORM OF FEAR (written by Michael)

(Appeared on the "Form Of Fear"7"EP)

Get up, get up and see................Form Of Fear
From your, from your TV...............Form Of Fear
I know, I know you can................Form Of Fear
But you don't dare change your plan...Form Of Fear

The things you have, you aren't aware
Are feelings, time and space
But you prefer the apathy
Which doesn't give you strength
So stand up, and use your abilities
And think on your own
Cause now you're just a little toy
Of media control

Resistance Is Futile!

For the ones in control of our society, it is necessary to keep hold on the media to prevent that people not only see, but also see THROUGH everything. The influence and direct interference of the authorities guarantee a strong hold on the masses, who are mesmerized by fear of losing themselves, their property, their security. This fear is - efficiently dosed - administered by the makers of our prosperity who at the same time own the means of constantly selling this prosperity.

A war is waged against enemies of this system and 99% is done through the media. The right-wing press and broadcast feed and consolidate the opinionlessness of the silent majority. The left-wing press and broadcast keep left-liberal students and intellectuals busy to stay critical within bounds (see Gulfwar). Resistance is futile! That’s the "truth" the media are forcing down your throat. The message stays the same whether you read or watch progressive, liberal or right-wing media: the world is a dark and scary place (increase of crime, mindless violence and wars!) and nobody is able to do anything about it (or: trust the authorities! become a better person!). People who are doing something positive, like cooperating to stop the Yugoslavian war in at least one village are not newsworthy because noone is dying. People who are fighting against the authorities are either dangerous terrorists (look at Radikal zine or EURO-summit rebels) or misled victims (MRTA Peru). Have you ever enjoyed fighting back? Have you ever seen REALITY reflected in the media? I have seen scary rioters and beaten up demonstrators but never never people being helpful while building barricades or people being happy because they have succesfully resisted police attacks. I guess this is the reality you’re not supposed to know. The result of this media manipulation is that people have one more excuse to be apathetic, listless, scared and alone. People have one more excuse for not trying to take their life into their own hands; being just a toy of media control.

¾ Michael ¾

HUMAN RACE (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd)

You hate, complain, and never seem to cope
With other people unlike you
Expand your views, there's many more than one
Variety of inputs, spices of life
Evolve yourself, don't throw away your pride
Achievements are nothing to hide


Face and pride, based upon colour
All you ever did, spelled as W.H.I.T.E.
Exert a force, a natural course
Consequenses fully ignored
Fear and pain, a damaged self-esteem
A result that you will never absorb


The state, the pain, will it ever change
Enemies by nature, easy to see
Your files, your life, it's all in bits and bytes
Accessible by the industry
Directed, rejected, as if we're just a unit
Well, this unit's gonna try to resist


LOOK AHEAD (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd and "Bits Of Noise 2"comp.CD)

Everytime I think I do the right
Everytime I think that it's positive
Little things get in the way
Aimed at perfection, I'm led astray
No way, that I'll rest my efforts
I put inside my whole life
This strife inside, it can't be stopped
Try not to lose the spirit of youth

TRUE, IT'S hard to face your faults, it's hard to see mistakes
LOOK AHEAD (the way to be)
FORGET, what's done is done, it can't be changed
LOOK AHEAD (the way to be)

Go back in time three years
Where were you then, what did you do?
Look at the negatives, do you remember?
Maybe only one or two
No way that I'll rest my efforts
I put inside my whole life
This strife inside, it can't be stopped
Try not to lose the spirit of youth

TRUE, IT'S hard to face your faults, it's hard to see mistakes
LOOK AHEAD (the way to be)
FORGET, what's done is done, it can't be changed
LOOK AHEAD (the way to be)

OVERGROWN CORPSE (written by Maynard, Axe & Emil)

(Appeared on the "Form Of Fear"7"EP)

Nuclear industries, nuclear wars
Nuclear power, more and more


War! There is always more and more
When will it end? Everytime the same
Can't you fucking see? All this misery
Hang onto your faith...
There's got to be a better place for me!
There's got to be a better place for me!
Here we GO!


Nuclear industries, nuclear wars
Nuclear power, more and more


POWER (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd)

There comes a time, in your life
You recognize the fact you are different
With combinations of activities
Power lies in choice
Making a choice and speaking out your voice
Freedom of choice = freedom of life
Living your own formula
Using feedback to correct your path of life
Adding to life, giving to friends


REPEAT AND REGRET (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Holland Sucks!"live-comp.CD)

There's no tension in your presence
Conditions unforeseen
Two years, and almost free
What will the future bring?
Expectancy... of inner change
Repeat... and regret!!



Missing out so much fun
Living in a cage
People... left wondering
Can we build on him?
Restore... revive
The trust that you require
Repeat... and regret
A phrase you can't neglect


SEEDS OF OUR DESTINY (written by Emil & Michael)

(Appeared on the "Form Of Fear"7"EP)

What do you look for beyond the sea?
It seems something's on your mind
The part of me I know that I love
The past in which I was born


Freeze, and you'll start regression
The past shouldn't become an obsession
Be strong, and be true
Your destiny's decided by you


Break barriers, reach for horizons
Beyond them lies all your coherence
Look back and face the roots
The seed will always be there


SIN AVISO (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP and "Holland Sucks!"live-Comp.CD/LP)

A todo los perdidos, olvidados, abandonados
Pensamientos! con emociones que bailan a
Sintonías de una sensacíon pasada
Percepciones de un mundo perfecto...

Los días viejos parecieron tan justos
Desaparecídos... sin aviso
No quedan opportunidades de compartir
No quedan possibilidades de communicar

¿Pensamientos nostalgicas? M’ Imagino...
¿Pero porque entonces imagenes tan claros?

Eran el pasado, sin dar se cuenta
Eran el pasado, yo no les mostré

¿Que es lo que es tiempo que hace eventos
Mas especiales despues de haberlos vividos?
Otra razon para carpe diem
Hago lo que puedo, pero hoy e fallado
Hoy e fallado, Hoy e fallado
Hoy e fallado, Hoy e fallado

SIN AVISO (English Translation; WITHOUT WARNING)

To all those lost, forgotten, left
Hear my thoughts as emotions dance
To the tunes of a past sensation
Perceptions of a perfect world

The days of age, they seemed so right
Now they’ve disappeared, without warning
No more opportunities for sharing
No more possibilities for communicating

Nostalgic thoughts? I guess so.
But why then images so clear?
(before my eyes closed)

You formed the past, you may not have known it
You formed the past, I may not have shown it

What is it about time that makes events
more special after going through them?
Another reason to seize the day
I try but fail today
I failed today
I failed today

"So many spend their time mostly looking forward to the past." — J. Osborne

"Time is of your own making, it’s clock ticks in your head

The moment you stop thought time too stops dead." — Angelus Silesius

"The present moment is a powerful goddess." — J. Goethe

My growing up in Latin America, Africa, and Europe has shaped a vast part of who I am, and both daily contact and coexistence with people from different cultures stimulated my sense of individuality and awareness of the "diversity tree" at a young age. Even though some disavantages to this lifestyle were present (like having to leave behind all social contact, friends, school, home, and environment every two years), today I can say I feel privileged to have seen so much. I am also content with what I do and who I am at the present moment, but every now and then I travel back in my mind, and see and feel what I experienced then. Being nostalgic and remembering events and moments you enjoyed in your life that influenced your being (you) brings about a wave of warmth and self-consciousness, yet care should be taken not to be dissolved into and absorbed by that which is no longer here, namely the past.

"Live for today. Idealizing the past won’t help you at all." It’s been said to me a number of times before, but the temptation is too strong to resist sometimes. Let me travel back just one more time...


STRIJD (written by Michael)

(Appeared on the "Cash And Pain Remain"3"Mcd, "Bits Of Noise 2"Comp.CD and "Idiomes"Comp.CD)

Waarom heeft een mens soms pijn?
Omdat mensen wolven zijn:
koud, gemeen, verscheurend hard,
haat die alle liefde tart.

Waarom staat en mens alleen,
zonder vrienden om hem heen?
Moe, verbitterd, star en stug,
valt hij op zichzelf terug.

Waarom heeft een mens verdriet?
Omdat hij 't "waarom" niet ziet.
Schreeuwend van verslagenheid
raakt hij alle houvast kwijt.

Waarom is een mens soms bang?
Omdat hij een leven lang
doodsbenauwd zichzelf niet geeft
en beseft: 'k heb nooit geleefd...'

Eens is er een mens ontwaard
die zichzelf niet heeft gespaard.
Iedereen zag Hij als een vriend:
te goeder trouw of onverdiend.
Dwars door diepe eenzaamheid:
angst en pijn en zware strijd
maakte Hij zichzelf heel klein
om toch maar dichtbij te zijn.
Gevend tot het einde toe.
Vraag je nu: waarom en hoe?
Omdat Hij steeds heeft voorvoeld:
Daarvoor is een mens bedoeld.

Verdwaalde schapen volg de herder!
onze oplossing brengt jou niet verder
laat je niet leiden door een rattenvanger
die maakt alleen je zoektocht langer

volg ze niet, vertrouw op jezelf
wie helpt jou, zij helpen zichzelf
volg ze niet, vertrouw op jezelf
wie helpt jou, zij helpen zichzelf

STRIJD (English Translation; STRUGGLE)

Why does sometimes a human have pain?
Because people are wolves:
cold, mean, savage,
hate that defies all love.

Why is a human standing alone?
without friends around him?
Tired, embittered, stiff and tough,
he’s falling back to himself.

Why is a human in grief?
Because he doesn’t see the "why".
Screaming of dismay
he’s loosing all grip.

Why is a human sometimes scared?
Because a lifetime long terrified,
he doesn’t give himself,
and realizes: "I have never lived..."

Once there was a human perceived
who didn’t spare himself.
Everybody He saw as a friend:
in good faith or not deserved.
Straight through deep solitude:
fear and pain and heavy battle
He made himself very small
to be close by.
Giving until the end
You ask yourself now: why and how?
Because He always premonitioned:
For that is a human meant.

Lost sheep follow the shepherd
our solution doesn’t carry you further
don’t be lead by a rat-catcher
who only lengthen your quest.

don’t follow them, rely on yourself
who helps you, they help themselves
don’t follow them, rely on yourself
who helps you, they help themselves

STUCK IN A RUT (written by Emil)

(Appeared on the "Form Of Fear"7"EP)

Taking a chance, altering my way
Choosing a path that I can’t see
Complex organism... free thoughts!!
Break your traditions, don’t be a nobody

Stuck in a rut and rot in a sack
Live! Love life like life loves you
You’ll see... profundity!

Tongue-in-cheek me if you want
Point and laugh, and find a fault

You try to make things work
And gain something, it’s all no use
It’s all worth nothing
To me satisfaction is impossible to believe.
Nothing’s ever gonna fucking work for me

Trying... nothing... trying...
Trying... nothing... trying...

I gave my best, but in this mess
My best is gone. Lost for how long?
Four walls surround me, despair’s my friend
In circles I tread

A new approach, a fresh start
When you’re sittin’ in that room
With no hope at all
Look around om another
Realize your way is over the wall

Yeah, so you noticed. The first four/five lines of the slow part in the middle of this song are not original CatweazleTM lyrics, but are an excerpt of Negative Approach’s "Nothing" track on the "Tied Down" LP (one of my faves). I used it because it fit really well to the music we had, and because it could represent somebody’s perspective on being "stuck in a rut" in real life. Getting da "stuck" can make you feel depressive, inconfident, and pretty damn worthless. In short: nothing. Don’t see this as criticism to the original N.A. song, because it’s not meant to be that. I can relate to most of the lyrics of that song, but I just wouldn’t want to live with those thoughts+feelings day in, day out, because it would chew on my insides. Instead, an approach to problems, mistakes, traditions, and fuck-ups with a certain degree of relativity will allow the venting of frustration and expression of emotions without the need for self-denial. For, when we deny our own mistakes, only then are we nothing. Disagree with this if you want. Disagree with the lyrics if you want (there are enough opportunities for that). But you’ll be missing the point. Take care...XXX.


PS: I’ve always wanted to say "da" instead of "the"; it sounds so incredibly geeky.

SYSTEM FALL (written by Emil & Erik)

(Appeared as a bonustrack on the "Best Of Profane Existence Far East Vol.1"CD)

There’s gonna be a fall of your system
There’s gonna be a fall in your ways
Freedom surrendered to your establishment
Tricking the people that you represent

Forgetting a leader should be reliable
Public exposure the core of your final plan
TV-shows, you own them……delinquency!
Everytime I look at your system, I hope it rots!!

Elected by a correlation… a suggestive choice
Take in account your work is a lie
Well, does it feel good to you??

YOU'RE A PART (written by Emil)

(was never released)

Tell me when you'll moderate
And really start to integrate
Into this thing we call a scene
Open your mind, perceive what I mean


Is it true you can't communicate?
And are you really obdurate?
Always so full of hate
Cause these are the things I see


I can't approve of your indifferent state
You and me, we are so seperate
Unbearable, longing for your thoughts
Why not share them, before your part is lost



ABOVE AND UNDER (or: Power Is For Murderers)

Power. Hierarchy. The higher on the "social" ladder, the more you can decide over others. The ones nodding honest and humble to the ones up, have it comfortable and it’s easier to kick the ones below you. Everyone is twisted violently into place and the largest group below get the most beating, the biggest blows. But what about animals? Roughly put, they can be placed down below because they’re not emancipated, most of the time own little to no rights and are purely seen as objects. As soon as animals aren’t seen anymore as objects, but as subjects, everything has to change. Not only our worldview, also social and economical structures which are based on it. Especially in this period (of massive BSE and pig-plague) it’s an hot item in Holland. Right now it’s very clear where animals are placed in the hierarchy. Imagine a couple cases of the Ebola-virus are confirmed in Noord Brabant (a province in the South of Holland). Will all not-infected neighbours be killed as well in the hope that it will stop the epidemic? And will the relevant Minister of Public Health inform the people through the media of the fact that all babies not older than two weeks will be euthanised as precaution? (in April/May 1997 began the slaughter of half a million piglets as prevention of the raging pig-plague which has already made thousands of victims).

Animals are outlawed. They’re allowed to live as long as it suits humanity, but if their deaths suits us better (for example because of a threatening copper-strike due to the BSE affair), they’ll leave en masse to the destruction-centres. They’re gassed or murdered otherwise on the assembly-line by blunted killers. Who cares about the fate of millions of animals being exposed to mutilating or deadly chemicals for the sake of the food-, domestic-, "beauty", and medicine-industry? Only when the own species is at stake, some ethical bells start to ring. Animals are transported in cattletrucks to slaughterhouses; suffer from hunger, thirst, pain and fear for the unknown on the way; many die of suffocation during transport; once arrived, the abbatoir is waiting. They smell blood, sense their approaching end and still have to wait for hours. But for most humans, animals are just objects, without an history or emotions. Ofcourse, an animal hears, sees, smells, feels, tastes and experiences the world in its own way, but this cannot say that these sensory and emotional impressions are less real than ours. However, most people think like this and consequently say fish can not feel pain.

"Thanks to" christianity (which puts culture above nature or better: human above animal), the current industrial-technological worldview has adopted this animal-unfriendliness and merely treats animals as economical resource, as link in the production process. The care is tuned to this. Sometimes it goes so far, it is carefully calculated if it still delivers any economical use to give waiting animals in slaughterhouses food and water. Many times the judgment is "no", and so sheep are dying of thirst in Australia. The authorities promise improvement but only tune to the economic use and the animals instead of humans have to adapt (genetic manipulation...). When do people finally admit that humans are standing next to animals?

Note: It was very tempting (and easy ofcourse) to make the comparison with the nazi-destructioncamps, endlosung, holocaust... but because this will certainly discount the special character of the holocaust, namely the purposive destruction of an entire people and its culture, I decided not to walk this way. The criminal character of the bio-industry certainly can be made clear without involving Auschwitz. Michael

(Published in the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)

NO STRUGGLE NO PROGRESS (or: Create Your Own Space)

It’s more or less easy to criticize modern "civilization" and sum up all the negative and destructive ways of it (or: study society and try to discover its tendencies and needs). However, I think it’s necessary to keep doing this in a constructive way - try to make (ordinary) people think, get some awakening of consciousness going for the suppressed and distorted within this institutional structures designed to assure obedience and subordination. Since I still envision a society managed by individuals and voluntary associations, the following article gives some ideas on how one can organise by self-activity and direct action. Hopefully this will stimulate and develop some imagination!

"civil disobedience. . . is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience. . . Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem." (Howard Zinn - "Failure To Quit")

Take the power back into you own hands by your own actions and build your own - autonomous - force! Cooperation with other groups/individuals is possible and necessary because most of our problems are of a social nature, meaning that their solutions can only be worked on collectively. It’s important to adapt a critical solidary attitude since this cooperation can create big differences. Direct conflict with "established" (parliamentary) groups is unevitable. Main issue here is to try convince their supporters that struggle starts with yourself and cannot be decided by some so-called experts. Try to attack the root causes of soci(et)al problems instead of seeking only the symptoms that promise short-term improvements for a condition that never goes away and may ultimately kill the sufferer.

Solidarity has unfortunately become a slogan without any meaning or content. The question is to what extend we can fight together with our own issues. To know what use we have for eachother, it is necessary to be absolutely honest and not to unspeak any criticism. If the cooperation cannot have this, it was not worthy and doomed to fail from the beginning anyway.

Apart from taking action, creating space is another important, if not necessary part of the strugggle. Most obvious is squatting buildings to live, work and meet eachother. But there’s much more to "creating space" than only squatting. Making zines is another good example and just one part of it all. What it really means to create space, is to organize our lives in an as much as possible different - more free - way other than society dictates (by which we are all indoctrinated since childhood). To create space is especially creating space in our own heads; to get more freedom in feeling and thinking which we need to give meaning to our struggle at all. It is the power of independent thought, which is the power of freedom opposite to hierarchy within which individuals are told again and again that they are nothing, are insignificant and must dissolve themselves into a higher power (the state, the company, the party, the people, etc.) and feel proud in participating in the strength and glory of this higher power.

Along with creating space, we need to work on direct actions which have a goal to get a grip on the events all around us and is the means of asserting ones individual opinion, interests and happiness, of fighting against self-negation. We don’t have the power to determine events but we can play a part in it. Ofcourse every group decides their own way of action but it’s most important to organise autonomous. Hard and creative action don’t have to be seen on their own: creative action is a way to depict defects/errors and how it could be better. Hard action is more a way to enforce the proclaimed view(s). Taking only hard action would mean to be merely against things. Hard and creative mix brilliantly and are hard to be divided. Alot of ways of actions have been developed: different kinds of street-theatre and drawing attention, demonstrations, non-cooperation (strike, boycot, refusal), music, blockades, protests, sabotage, occupations, riots, breaking windows/material, put on posters, armed attacks.... All these forms don’t clash and the choice is made on interest, possibilities... Now find a good collaboration, for example in a group or collective to organise own actions instead of waiting as an individual for the actions others organise. Change only occurs when we act to create it! Michael

(Published in the Seein'Red/Catweazle 10"LP)